sentimental heart

I'm sitting on my living room love seat that has a pattern of, "things that would involve fishing, for fishing lovers" all of over it. By just sitting in it, you can see yourself in a brawny man log cabin, right in the middle of the great outdoors (with lake in the backyard, full of fish, and brawny man in kitchen included). All of the lights are off in my house except the one that is shining over my laptop, and ALL is silent. This is the point of the day where I get relaxed,(finally) and as we all do when we are faced with our own thoughts, do the one thing some of us dread most: think about life.
This is when I get all sentimental and talk about how humbled I am right now. Life has really changed for me this past year, and it's almost crazy how fast it has happened. Sometimes I laugh when I look back because it can seem like such a blur. Last year I was: Trying to graduate high school early(or rather be rid of high school and doing 2 PE classes to do it), struggling to be okay with being lonely from a break-up (and working excessively to rid my thoughts of it), dealing with friends hardships, feeling out of place, and dealing with the changing future (which is NOW).
Wow...
I now am in college, I'm finding out who I am more (with an amazing boyfriend who is right for me) and am working a lot less (doing only jobs I want). Life is a lot less stressful in the ways of struggling, but is more difficult in the areas of achieving. I am in between, on middle ground. There are times when I sit down and try to plan out what steps I must take in order to somehow be successful, and possibly, "make a difference in this world". It's funny where those lists of possibility take me. Sometimes I find myself as an Art Director in NY, or a struggling artist/illustrator in England. I think both I could be very successful at, as I could be given lots of responsibilities and handle them, and not a lot and do great with that. : )
Sometimes I wish life could be as simple as it is for the fish lover/fisherman, in that log cabin, one reminiscent of my love seat. All they ever do is fish, and that's all they ever desire or want to do. They fish all morning, and well into the day, come home to their lovely log cabins and live. I have to say eating fish all of the time would not be that exciting, so maybe that's why I result to this way of life. This adventure, if you would call it. The one where I struggle to find out why I am here, and what I am supposed to be doing for the greater of man, or more importantly, to really live my life.